My Blog

i’m feeling more and more anxious each day waiting for my a level results.God…and after chatting with my father,i feel even more stressed and apprehended realizing that they have been thinking a lot about my future and the what ifs for me while i waste my days watching shows and sitting down at the workplace…

i cant believe that they’ve been thinkin about my future too…so strange for me to say maybe..haha.i think its because i always think that i can do everything on my own..BUT NO…

my parents want me to go back to the philippines and study if i don’t get any scholarship but going back has never crossed my mind..God…

i feel very anxious but i know that things happen for a reason.this saying is very very very applicable to me..i’ve prayed for so many things and most of them came true.Only God and I know what my ultimate wish is…if its granted,i’ll be the happiest girl on earth.hahahahaha.

k,i gotta go to church. ALONE. huhuhuhu.k,bye!!

well…havent updated my blog for quite a long time..havent been online for quite long as well.anyway,i’m having a good time here…goes out almost everyday shopping with my dear siblings…by the time i reach home,im alrealy tired coz of traffic jam!!!nevertheless,its fun shopping here…coz the stuff are much cheaper!and there’s lots of new shops too!!the malls became bigger and i should acknowledge the fact that my country has improved in terms of cleanliness and traffic(altho it’s still horrible).

heheheeee…k.k..im going out now..gonna have a family reunion coz it’s my greatgrandfather’s bday celebration today!hmmm..he’s 87 yrs old i think and he cant remember me anymore!huhuhu..but that’s fine..k..adios!

hohoho..i’m ‘room’ alone today..no roommates:(huhuhu..i hope they’re havin’ a good time in their prom right now like i did yesterday..woah,time flew so fast yesterday!nevertheless,i really had lots of fun!!the atmosphere yesterday was different from the usual dance night that i have been to .is it because it’s in Fullerton Hotel?!?!?!the ballroom was really nice with all the chandeliers and fresh roses around..almost perfect I should say;)

well,the only thing that i kind of regret about that night is that i wasn’t able to EAT what i should have..haha..i paid an extra $30 to have a free flow of food and yet i did not really eat.haha..i was too engrossed of the games and activities that they had for us.i should say that the MC was commendable for he can really grab the elusive attention of NYJCians..ehm…i went up to the stage thrice yesterday..two of them were because of the games.i think i was the only girl who went up for the 2nd game coz one needs to run and grab the chair for that game..but i ran because there was no one running yet..hehe..so no competitor..hahaha..lame..

the third time was because i was "sabotaged" by my classmates and other students as well..wah..that part was really embarassing coz we had to do a sexy and slow motion catwalk with the song "don’t cha" by pussycat dolls..haiz..don’t wanna tell you what i did but i assure you, i really had a great time on that stage yesterday..i don’t know why but suddenly i wasn’t shy at all yesterday..my classmates and even I can’t believe i did what i did..haha..

ohya,i just realised something also..when i was browsing through the prom photos as well as the rest of the photos this year,i noticed that i have like at least 4 stolen pictures where I was sticking my tongue out..aiyoh..my habit ah..tsktsktsk..not good,not good..

i think the most fun part of the prom was the dance of course.wah..i didn’t know that my classmates would really dance.haha..and then we took lots of photos.huhuhu.very memorable..

after that we wanted to go clubbing at MOS but the queue was too long and we were all dehydrated..haiz..we walked for so long that some of my girlfriends decided to walk barefooted.haha..i refused to do so..as a result,i have so many blisters on my feet now..haha.no pain,no gain as they say..

so we went to a pub instead and tried some liquors.i forgot some of the names..i can only remember blood mary,snowball,vodka,tequila lime,sunrise..blah,blah,blah..but i did not really drink lah..i’m a good girl,ok?haha.actually it’s because i felt dizzy after trying a bit of everything..it’s my first time.at least now i know that i’m very weak in this kind of thing so i won’t try it agai..maybe not ..maybe yes..depends on the person or people i’m with..haha

and then around 3 am,we reached mt emily hotel.we all wanted to sleep but we only booked a room for four people…there were seven of us so three can’t sleep in the room..there was no choice so we let the people who have work today to have their rest while the rest of us played cards for 3 hours..it’s my FIRST TIME not to sleep for 24 hours you know..haha..

and then at around seven,we decided to head home coz we were all so tired..we had breakfast together at tekka market before going to our separate ways..huhuhuhu..well,my dearest classmates are really very thoughtful..they gave me a file of letters with TOP MODEL pics as the front and back page..so nice of them!then they bought me different local food for me to bring back home..three of my classmates,yean yang,adrian and yen ming gave me a lampshade with their picture on it…and then they also compiled the pictures that we took tjis year for me.really so nice of them!!!

huhuhuhu…it’s as if everything has come to an end but i don’t think so..this kind of friends are really very hard to forget..i just wanna go back here because of them..huhuhuhu…haiz..i think this entry is too long lah.thanks for reading anyway!!!adios!

haiz..woah,this week i’ve updated my blog two times already and this is the third time..might not be able to update so often when i go back home..i still cant believe it..i’ll be home in exactly 64 hours and 35 minutes.hahaha…this means that the meal that i took just now might be my last dinner here in OH..that’s if i don’t have dinner on dec 6 coz i’ll be alone that night..don’t like eating alone.well,that depends on my mood..haha..ok,i’m talking crap.sorry to the ones reading this..i’m really good at making people bored to death.hehe.

anyway,i just wanna share these two "sweet and cute" quotes that i’ve found just now..

"Remember not to frown coz you’ll never know who is falling in love with your smile."

heeehehehehee…i know to whom this quote is applicable..secret..hehe.hmmmm..maybe…oops that’s better left unsaid.

"What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?"

huhuhuhu..very sad indeed..i doubt that the person who made some person cry will do something to ease the pain.

ehm…i made someone cry today but unintentionally.i just wanted to see that person smile.that’s all..but the reverse happened.haiz..i should be more careful of what i write.huhuhu..

ciao!

ah!!!2 more days b4 prom..but im quite sad lah..only 200 people are going..that’s out of 900+ students in my ever dearest school..i think it’s because it’s too expensive for just one night but i don’t care..as long as my close friends are there,it’s more than enough for me..in the end, my $… prom fee will be worth the memories and fun on that night.i hope so lah..huhuhuhu.

today was tirin but fun..i accompanied my friends at expo to buy digi cam..it was so crowded in there that i almost fainted.wahahaha..and then we went to orchard to buy prom stuff..guys are really amazing man.they can settle their prom stuff in just an hour!!!haha.it was fun choosing clothes for them..it’s just like choosing clothes for my brothers;)haiz..girls should learn from them when it comes to this kind of thing..but i doubt WE would…girls will be girls:)hahaha.

hmm…what else can i say about today?ohya..i think i just did something very stupid.don’t wanna say what it is..haha..

haiz..feeling sleepy now..i hope i can wake up early tomorrow:)gud nyt!!

five more days b4 i go home!!!very,very excited to see my family!erm,but quite sad to leave singapore coz of my friends and some people that i wish i could have known better..nevermind,it’s only temporary..i shall be back soon enough..haha.

anyway,these days were really a blessing to me..so many things happened these past few days..i mean, i learnt lots of lessons and have also realised the more important things about life..

it’s kinda weird not studying anymore..oh well yah,i studied a LOT for my a’s and now,i feel a bit weird of not being compelled to study for the next seven months..hooray!!haha..

but i think what i’ll go through next year will be  rather stressful than studies..havin to work and cook and clean the house and washing my clothes and most of all budgeting my ‘own’ money..i bet i’m really gonna miss hostel life.but believe it or not,i’m liking the transition that i’m going thru right now..i feel more responsible,mature and independent..am i?!!?!!??!hahaha..

oh ya..and i really feel so blessed nowadays coz everytime i have some problems and worries and i pray about it,God really answers all of it..i can’t say it’s mere luck anymore coz it’s really God’s hands at work..

oh ya..i saw JADE of america’s next top model at raffles city last thursday!! ’stalked’ her for awhile to get her autograph and picture but then she was on the phone when i was near to her..grrrr!!!she’s not my idol lah but let’s just say i’m the no.1 fan of top model…haha..i watch that show although i have exam the next day;)haha..watched every season of that show;)good thing i saw her coz i was kinda pissed of about something on that day..haha.

k,k..i gotta do something far more important than blogging..haha.ciao!

wah…i’ve never felt this bored and lost of what to do..well,well,well..i know i still have one more paper to go but i really feel sick of exam already..haha…

where are the people?i went online to find if there’s someone in messenger that i can talk to and i found no one!well,it’s saturday night so i cant blame anyone if they are out partying..haha..math ’s’ is just so hard..i take 30 minutes to solve one question!damn slow and sometimes i can’t even figure it out…haha..

i just hope that i’ll have the mood to study after i watch step up tomorrow;)haha…my suffering is ending soon..on tuesday..hooray!!but there’s lots of things to settle after A’s…there’s the job,apartment search,packing,prom….haiz..cant wait to settle all of these..k,k..i’d better do at least 3 more qsns before i sleep..

tomorrow i’m going to church..finally..hahaha..k,ciao!

haiz…i havent updated my blog for so long..as the title of this blog suggests,i refuse to say things that i’m dying to tell some people coz i’m scared to hurt them and i’m scared that i’ll….that’s better left unsaid..anyway,i miss cj atmosphere a lot..during this time,almost every jc and sec student in cj was studying..i really felt that i have a companion..people were so considerate and don’t make noise when you’re studying..people kept cheering you on to work even harder despite the fact that you’ve been sitting on that chair for almost 8 hours..no one exaggerates that you study 24/7 because people there are much more sensitive than the people here in oldham hall..i really miss cj..the atmosphere there just invigorates a person to reach that goal…people there help you focus on that goal instead of making you turn away from that goal of your life..they don’t criticise you when you study so hard..instead,they admire you and join you in studying..damn..i can’t turn back time..well,i’m still glad that i’m almost done with a’s…at least i’m proud of myself for reaching this far ALONE.

haiz..i’d better study math coz there’s top model later..ciao!!

haiz…

i woke up this afternoon with a very strange feeling..i can’t figure out what it was.when i was bathing,i realised that i feel very regretful and disappointed of myself..i knew i can do it but i failed..and now,my short term goal of remaining on that piece of paper is gone…it’s as if i had goals but did not aim for it. i may tell myself that it’s ok..i comforted myself by saying that it’s just a piece of paper and it doesn’t matter whether or not my name is there but i’m fooling myself for saying this..i was already there and now i’ve failed to remain there..it’s entirely my fault.another graduation ceremony which does not give me a sense of anticipation is going to pass by..will God help me again?they say God only help those who help themselves..i don’t doubt God’s ability and mercy but i doubt that i’ve put in the hardwork that i was supposed to give..

and i felt even worse when  someone cried because of backpain when i tickled her..i’m really sorry that i’m too playful..i really did not know that you have backpain..i hope you’re feelin better now..i think i have to check whether or not a person has back problem before i tickle them..haiz..

k,i’m gonna start studying today..ciao!

Ehm….ok…i’m gonna talk about prelims so please don’t read this entry for you might be bored to death..haha..

How’s my results?well,I’ve received everything today and until now, I still don’t feel anything..i’m neither sad nor happy about it..

Well, I did not do so well but if I look at my class’s performance as a whole, I think I’m still at the same level as before..However, if I compare my results to my mid year exam,it’s disappointing..

Actually,I’m only disappointed of physics coz I was damn stressed out when I was doing all the papers that I can’t perform well..i knew I had to reach my teacher’s expectation of me but I wasn’t able to.. it’s my fault coz I did not study as hard as I usually do..i was too confident and complacent for physics I guess that I thought no matter how much I study,I’ll get the same result..but I was wrong..well, I shouldn’t be disheartened coz my teacher said that I shouldn’t look at my individual result but rather on my ranking and see where I actually stand..i’ll wait till I receive my report card and see my percentile..haiz..can’t wait..

Well,as usual..my highest is math,followed by chem. then physics then economics..i’m quite regretful for econs coz I studied for essays ard 3 hours before the paper that’s why my result is “very very good.” (sarcasm intended)..

But I think I’ve learned a lot from this prelims..first is about my studying technique..i shouldn’t use that studying technique anymore..it’s not effective at all!!!!looking at the brighter side,I’ve discovered what studying technique is best for me before the most important exam comes which is of course the A-LEVELS!!well,I did not read my notes for prelims..only looked through my tutorials that’s why I did so badly in all my paper 3 coz it’s all memory work and I really have short term memory..For that, I wasted my papers 1 and 2 scores…

Second thing that I learned is about setting goals. I did set my goals for this exam as I usually do but, I did not look at it everyday as before. Therefore, if I set a goal, I need to look at it everyday and make sure I’ll work hard to achieve them..that again is my mistake..today,I shall set my goals coz I have the mood to do so…

I really need to start studying again…my weakness lies in memorizing…grrr….I can score quite well in those thinking kind of questions but not in those regurgitation of facts part.

Haiz..this entry is so boring..didn’t I warn you not to read it?!!!haha…well,I should start doing something today!!!ciao!

PS: PLEASE DON’T STRESS ME BEFORE THE PAPER STARTS..THAT ISN’T VERY HELPFUL..AND PLEASE DON’T SAY THAT I CAN’T DO BADLY COZ I’M AT THE TOP COZ THAT’S NOT TRUE..AND PLEASE DON’T HOPE THAT I’LL DO BADLY..AND WHEN YOU DO,PLEASE DON’T MAKE IT SO OBVIOUS COZ I CAN SEE IT SO EASILY COZ I’M A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON..SOMETIMES..TOO FRAGILE AND SENSITIVE..GOD BLESS YOU;)